Gang Marketing People,
I don’t do twitter so this is basically my sandbox to bitch in, and considering I guess there’s about 7 of you reading, y’all don’t mind if I take a second to file a complaint.
– I ain’t “circling back” for a damn thing. I don’t even know what the hell you’re talking about. Move forward like a normal person. If you’re “circling back” just say you want to “check in” to find out why I haven’t responded to your email. Better look. Trust.
– Don’t “ping” me either. I had to look up what the hell you were talking about, and that wasted more of my time. I don’t “ping” you, so no “pinging”.
– I will take your samples, but if you read the about page you’d know that. I will tell you what’s up (see previous two things) and be straight up honest, which is refreshing and the seven people reading appreciate it. It’s how I’ve managed to double known readership (from 3 to 6) in just two years. They “circle back” and “ping” my reviews often when I’m in the mood to write them.
– Don’t send me recipes. I ain’t giving a damn about your artisan mixologist and what torch they used to weld together a cup for a julep.
I know this sounds like I’m some cranky old man at a Denny’s shitting trousers in the corner booth. I am. I am what I am. You are what you is.
Woke up the same way you did: in front of the TV watching Sky News calling the Brexit referendum on the side of folks who want out of the EU. Now I ain’t gonna get political on this, because I have my opinions, you got yours and we’ll drink to that. But there are some things to talk about. Thinking about Brexit, bourbon and whiskey in general. Damnit, here’s some hot takes over coffee. Keep in mind this shit may or may not happen, I’m just guessing here. That’s all this is. No gospel. Stephen A Smith has called so many shit predictions, and I’m afraid of being lumped in with him. Confidence is zero right now.
- Scotland gonna maybe try and break away again. Maybe Ireland too. If that happens, we could see billiard balls go crazy at the break, especially when it comes to exports, pricing, and global competition. Uncertainty surrounding trade could make distributors weary. Banks could pull investments.
- Last time I checked about 20% of Scotland’s exports are from the malt. That ain’t no small change. Higher taxes, lower supply of aged barrels, increase in NAS all could turn off die hard buyers.
- Would also probably see sell offs by the giants of under performing brands. Diageo, Brown-Forman and others would be all like “screw it. I don’t need this shit” and start selling or ghosting up some distilleries. You could possibly see them stop investment in the area and see it shift elsewhere. Maybe more bourbon (hooray! more shitty Orphan Barrel!), maybe Japan, maybe Canada or India. There are markets that will be unfazed. That’s where they’ll hang until this calms down.
- Casual buyers or those even just buying a every day low shelf bottle consistently, they’re gonna be saving their euros/pounds/whatever because who the fuck knows what’s gonna happen next?
- Okay so now we get to bourbon (finally). Angry Soros is already saying this could turn into a Black Friday and at 10am the Dow is down 400. I don’t think it’ll get that bad, but again at this point WTFKWGHN. Bourbon’s enjoying that mighty fine golden age right now, but if people overseas stop importing, we could have a wee bit of a problem. Growth may slow, as would expansion and investment. All of those barrels aging could be staying there a bit longer (a bonus for us fans of aging). But Obama has already said there’s really no rush to negotiate new trade agreements with the UK, so that could hurt a key export market.
- Looking at early stocks (again, 10am) the hit seems minimal: Diageo down 3%, B-F 2.8%, Campari 3%.
But whatever. There’s a lot of panic out there, as usual. Most importantly: no one’s had a heart to heart with the mash tanks and barrels about Brexit, and I doubt they give a shit what we do. They just want to keep aging. Keep calm and carry on, I guess.
Axl Rose: hold up before you freak out.
Proof: 93 | Price: $50 | Rating: 4.5
Was looking back on the bottles I’ve blagged on and I noticed I never blagged a review on Blanton’s. My bad, crew. Blanton’s has been a mainstay on the shelf for so long it’s one of those things I take fore granted. I know everyone’s just dyin to hear what I think so let’s get down to it, crew!
I hate the cult of collecting the cutesy horse figurines. Keep that shit to grandma’s and shitty stores that sell “world crafts”. I like the velvet pouch and the design of the bottle. I’m sure soon I’m gonna write a rant on the lack of creativity on glass bottle design in this new bourbon renaissance, but that’ll be later. Blanton’s is special, so special that I’m giving it unusually high rating numbers so you feel me on the specialness of Blanton’s. All that orange and cloves and spice everywhere all over is perfectly married together with that char and oak. Total boss. Never had a bad cocktail where I’ve used this as a mixer, never had a bad glass when I’ve drank it straight.
This is the shit you bust out when a friend’s like “Hey I read about bourbon on a website whats a good one to have? Do you have that Pappy? Can I have some?” and then after you bludgeon them and they regain consciousness, they learn their lesson and you pour them a glass of this. I won’t say this is the Jay-Z or Beyonce of bourbons, because that’s just straight up foolishness. This travels beyond comparison into a solar system of its own. I know I’m hyping this up but once you get that first sip …neat, splash of water, ice, however…you’ll know what I’m talking about if you don’t already. Store picks or standard edition, I’ve never had a bottle where I was like “what in the hell happened here?”. Those triflin’ fools at BT get some stuff way wrong, but they get this right again and again. And that’s why I love them.